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Tony...a real man!

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NASA:  "You’ve got to help us Tony. We need a man to go to Mars. We asked Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and The Rock. They all said the mission is too dangerous. Please help us out!"

Tony: "First of all, don’t ask a candy ass to do a man’s job. I’ll handle it."

    The next day Tony shows up and they load his equipment onto the rocket.

NASA: "Everything looks good except this case you have that says Acapulco Gold on it. You can’t bring that with you."

     Tony grabs a pre-rolled out of the case, strikes a kitchen match on his abs, and then blows smoke in the director’s face. Looks him in the eye with a Clint Eastwood squint and says, “let’s rock.”

     A few months later the rocket lands on Mars. As Tony steps out, he sees a Martian girl stirring a huge pot.  Tony uses his famous pick-up line on her….

Tony: "Hey good lookin’. Whatcha got cooking?"

Martian Girl: "Just watch."

     After she stirred for about 45 minutes, the most beautiful baby Tony ever saw crawled out of the pot. Tony is amazed and tells her so.

Martian Girl: "How do they make babies where you’re from?"

     Tony felt it was his duty to demonstrate.

Tony: "So that, little lady, is how it’s done on Earth."

Martian Girl: "So, where’s the baby?"

Tony: "It takes a few months."

Martian Girl: "Then why did you stop stirring?"


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