So last night I'm slow cooking a nice skirt steak, over some cherry wood, indirect on the kamado at a steady 250*. SWEET!! While it was finishing up, I was inside getting the sides ready for dinner. For once......every thing was timed perfectly !
I get everything on the table and hustle out to get the steak off the grill. Quick aside...............We have a couple bird feeders next to our remote covered grill area and a couple of the local feral cats have been staking out the ground feeder birds. Back to the story.....As I approach the grill, I see the white cat hiding in the bushes next to the grill tent. I take off on a run, charging the cat and yelling like a crazy person at the cat.......Get away from the birds!!!!!!!!!!! About 10 feet away, while still charging full steam ahead.................I realize it is NOT a cat.....................It's a huge old SKUNK!!!!!! Holy crap...........I don't think I have ever done an about-face retreat that fast in my life. After I caught my breath and got my heart back in my chest........I think..........What do I do now?????? The skunk is still eating the bird seed on the ground next to the grill, the steak is currently a perfect medium rare and the other food is on the table getting cold. I surely don't want him to spray me or the grill, so popping him in the butt with a pellet gun was not an option.....so I grab a spot light and blast Mr. Skunk with the high beam.....all that did was help Mr. Skunk to see the seed on the ground better. He moves over to a big pile of seed closer to the grill and continues to eat. Next brainstorm.........I run into the house and get a couple pots and pans. I come out banging away, making a ton of noise...........and all that did was to make Mr. Skunk hide directly behind the kamado. No!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTH???? OK....now I'm getting desperate......it's 20 minutes later and my perfect skirt steak is approaching medium ! Now what???............I take a look around and I spot a handheld air horn. Those little babies are obnoxious as hell...............it has to work. I let loose with a 20 second blast..............the neighbors lights start to come on, doors are opening....I yell out a skunk warning and they disappear back into the safety of their houses. During all the commotion....................of course.......I lose track of old Mr. Skunk and have no idea where he went. Double crap!!!!!! That's it.......we are now in a crisis mode.........the steak is approaching MEDIUM WELL!!!!!!!! This situation calls for desperate measures...............
so I strapped on my big boy pants, hitched up my courage.............and tip toe up to the grill like a little sissy. I snatched that meat off of the grill and ran back to the house as fast as my little legs would carry me. Redhead Sue laughing her a$$ off, Cold baked potatoes, Cold veggies and well done skirt steak............... Skunk 1 - Kamado Man Zero!!!!!!!