TheBeast Get Religion!

[CeramicChef]

Hi KKers!

 

Yesterday was the BIG Thanksgiving Feast at my church.  I volunteered to help cook some turkeys.  In fact, I signed up to do 6, was told to expect to do more, but was only given 2 due to so many others wanting to cook the birds.  OK, no big deal.  I went out and bought a CyberQ WiFi unit to help with the cook seeing as I thought I had so many birds to cook.  Well, the cook ended up being no big deal, but I think I screwed myself. More on that at the end.

 

Early Saturday morning was cold and wet!  I'm not a cold weather guy and I"m certainly never going to like being both cold and wet, so I was looking to spend as little time outside as possible.  The CyberQ helped me stay dry and roast toasty.  This WiFi feature is simply wonderful!  Bluetooth has some inherent limitation that are easily overcome by WiFi.

 

Here's a photo of the CyberQ all plugged in and ready to do its work in a hostile environment:

 

 

Here's the PitViper fan ready to do it's thing in the rain:

 

 

Neither until is waterproof so I had to figure something out.  I Buddy of mine has drilled holes in Tupper Ware that he runs his cords through, but I didn't have that luxury.  SOOOOO .... I made do.  I had to anchor down the little storage bin covering the Cyber! unit with anything I could find ... these Oklahoma winds were nasty that day.  The PitViper fan I covered with aluminum foil wrapped around the neck of the fitting that goes into The Beast.  I secured it with a two twist ties tied together.  Talk about Red-Neck engineering!  But it worked and that's the important thing.

 

Two 20# turkeys fit on the main grate with lots of room to spare:

 

 

Now normally, I'd truss the legs and wings, but I was given strict instructions not to.  The ladies who run this event told me not to put smoke on the bird, not to truss, no dressing, no oil on the skin for crispness, and cook until the pop-up thermometers popped up.  I wasn't about to argue, so no smoke (except I did put on a little maple!), and I cooked the bird the bird until the pop-ups popped up.  BTW - know what both pop-ups were set to?  175F!  How do I know .... because the thermometers showed that temp on the CyberQ!  

 

In any event, here's a pic of the birds right after the CyberQ registered 155F, the temp I'd normally pull this cook.   You can see the pop-ups on both birds in the back right hand quadrant:

 

 

We did this cook at 350 and the CyberQ kept it nailed on that temp!  Total time in the belly of TheBeast was 2:45:

 

 

The finished birds ... notice the popped up thermometers ... 175F according to the CyberQ.  I was instructed to cook until the pop-ups popped up and that's what this far rat did:

 

 

Not too bad but could have been soon much better.  BUT ... I'm not running that show, I just work here, drive a truck, and sweep the warehouse!

 

Here the birds are foiled right before I took them to the church.  Notice on the far right the bird tried to escape --- he didn't get far!  To the church he went.  The car smelled incredible for the trip!

 

 

So all in all I'll give this cook a 3.5 Star Rating out of 5.  

 

Now for the I'm screwed part.  I take those birds into the church kitchen and everyone starts oohing and aahing.  How did you get that color on those birds.  I said cooked 'em on my Komodo Kamado!  The head of the Knights of Columbus perked up and came walking over to me and said, I never knew you had a kamado, like a BGE!  I said, I have a kamado, but its MUCH better, IMNSHO, than the BGE.  He said, so how come you're not signed up to cook for our brisket feed!?  Now I've been a Knight for a LONG time and I never knew we had a brisket feed!  The head Knight said, Well now you know and you just signed up!  How big is your kamado?  I told him it was large enough to fit 4 turkeys like the ones he was looking at.  He said --- You're my new head bbq chef and walked away.  We cook and sell over 75 briskets.  I'm screwed!

 

No good deed goes unpunished!  I knew I should have listened to the Nuns!

[wilburpan]

Dang. The Beast makes the turkeys look like roast chickens.

 

And congrats on the brisket gig.

[DennisLinkletter]

My first shot of a KKBB with two turkeys!  

[CeramicChef]

Glad I could help, Dennis, but those are not Chamber of Commerce looking turkeys.  But, The Altar Society ladies MUST be kept happy!  Hell hath no fury like an Altar Society lady pissed off!  I know ... my Mom was president of The Altar Society for years.  When those ladies make up their mind, even God stands aside!!!!

[CeramicChef]

Dang. The Beast makes the turkeys look like roast chickens.

 

And congrats on the brisket gig.

 

Wilbur - thanks!  There was room for a lot more fowl on that grate.  And If I had use the upper cooking rack ....

 

As for the brisket gig ... remember that no good deed goes unpunished and "Dude, you're screwed" has become my new mantra!

[MadMedik]

Wonderful story. Great job!!!

[GoFrogs91]

Nice cook CC. Even with the restrictive parameters.

[CeramicChef]

Nice cook CC. Even with the restrictive parameters.

 

 

 

Thanks Frog!  I appreciate the kind words.

 

KKer's, on another Forum, I posted this cook.  There the other BBQ fanatics told me I should have pulled the popups and cooked the birds the way I wanted and then put the popups back in the bird after dipping them in hot water to get them show done.  I told them that my Mother, having been President of The Altar Society for years at out church, would know immediately something was amiss.  So too with the Altar Society ladies where I now attend Mass.  They would know and start asking questions.  I spent years in Catholic School.  Never lie to a Nun.  Don't ever lie to the ladies of The Altar Society!  They are connected with a MUCH higher power.  Even the priest can't forgive that sin!  LOL!!

 

It's so good to see that the KKer's are much more honest and so much less duplicitous than those others.  Of course, we're KKer's and we don't roll that way, RIGHT!???  LOL!!