NASA: "You’ve got to help us Tony. We need a man to go to Mars. We asked Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and The Rock. They all said the mission is too dangerous. Please help us out!"
Tony: "First of all, don’t ask a candy ass to do a man’s job. I’ll handle it."
The next day Tony shows up and they load his equipment onto the rocket.
NASA: "Everything looks good except this case you have that says Acapulco Gold on it. You can’t bring that with you."
Tony grabs a pre-rolled out of the case, strikes a kitchen match on his abs, and then blows smoke in the director’s face. Looks him in the eye with a Clint Eastwood squint and says, “let’s rock.”
A few months later the rocket lands on Mars. As Tony steps out, he sees a Martian girl stirring a huge pot. Tony uses his famous pick-up line on her….
Tony: "Hey good lookin’. Whatcha got cooking?"
Martian Girl: "Just watch."
After she stirred for about 45 minutes, the most beautiful baby Tony ever saw crawled out of the pot. Tony is amazed and tells her so.
Martian Girl: "How do they make babies where you’re from?"
Tony felt it was his duty to demonstrate.
Tony: "So that, little lady, is how it’s done on Earth."
Martian Girl: "So, where’s the baby?"
Tony: "It takes a few months."
Martian Girl: "Then why did you stop stirring?"