Sanny Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Three kids under 5... that's all I gotta say. Everything is disposable. You guys consider getting cable tv? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I better rethink that okra huh? Is it an aphrodesiac or something . But it could come in quite handy for me seeing as I been fixed? Dude, you ain't been fixed yet? You need to think about it...for real I'll post the story I wrote about my experience Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Katie, irreversibly an only Child Katie, irreversibly an only child It was much worse than I thought. I've never thought of myself as being particularly squeamish or anything...I can watch myself get shots and give blood. And I've never been overly sensitive to pain to my knowledge although I've always enjoyed the pain medications. But this was much different. I kept my eyes closed from start to finish. I didn't want to see what tool he had in his hands or know what he was up to, I could feel the pulling and tugging, and believe me, that was a living nightmare. To begin the day, I had to shave myself, which in itself was kinda scary. Then when I got to the doctor's office the nurse told me she had to shave me. I said, "That's quite alright mam, but I did that this morning as the instruction sheet advised so we're OK in that department". She said rather menacingly, "Well, just lay back and I'll make sure you did a good job", as she proceeds to do her own shaving. And then she let me know that I did a good job while pointing out a few cuts that I obviously already knew about. I said, "yeah, I figure the worse part is over", joking that those little nicks I gave myself were probably as bad as it would get. I'll never forget the strange look in her eyes as she said something like, "Yea, you're probably right, Dr. Bobbitt will be right with you". Little did I know that I was in for one of the worst experiences known to man. Well, let me back up a few minutes. After my doctor's consultation, which was nothing more than the doctor asking me if I was done having children and that we would consider this an irreversible operation, he led me to the 'slaughter room' and told me to strip from the waist down and sit up on the table. I sat there about ten minutes with no pants on, facing the door trying to locate the fan that seemed to be aimed right at the shaved area? Then the nurse walks in and looks right at them and says, "You want one of these robes to cover up with". Now why couldn't the doctor have told me about the robes, I think I already hate him. So I cover up my privates with the paper robe. I'm feeling a little better now, more protected, but that's when the nurse pulls out the razor. So now we're caught back up. In walks the doctor and we do the normal joking around, I tell him to be careful down there, he laughs and said he hasn't cut one off in a long time, yada-yada-yada. That's when I closed my eyes, I could no longer block it out. I had sudden painful clarity on what was just seconds away from happening to me. I didn't want to see any needles or scalpels in his hand. I never opened my eyes again until he said, "You're done, no sex for 3 to 5 years". Hey, that was fine with me. So it's time for the local anesthesia. Well, a little stick and we'll be numb, have the minor surgery done and be on our merry little way, right? Not exactly...the doctor didn't tell me the normal, "OK, you're gonna feel a small stick", like they do when you get a shot in the arm. He said, "Take a deep breath, hold it, and don't move". Maybe I should have realized what I was in for then, but I didn't. So he gets a good grip on them, which in itself seemed really rude, and sticks the needle in about eight to ten inches. I squiggled a bit, but that's just normal survival instinct for a man since we have been taught from day one to guard that area with our very lives. He stopped and said, "you can't move now" in a deep, authoritative voice, and he somehow manages to tighten his grip, that's when I realized there must be at least four hands down there. And then he stuck the needle all the way into the heart of his target, at least another foot. I had no idea he would need to go that deep, nothing in life ever prepared me for an event like this, I had no way to anticipate what was gonna happen and so I jumped through the ceiling...what in the heck was I supposed to do anyway? Well, Mr. Dr. seemed to get all mad as he yelled, "You can't move, you can't move, this is very dangerous, now I've stuck myself with the needle" in a shrill, girly voice. And then he promptly left the room. To be honest, I couldn't see why he was so upset, I was clearly the victim here, how much pain could he possibly be in. My pain was tremendous, even though it was mostly psychological. If I were doing his job I would be wearing a teflon body suit, was he that naïve! Dude, I only did what I have been trained to do...what a girl! I'm not sure how long he was gone, probably no more than 3 or 4 minutes, but I had time to fantasize that me and the good doctor had reversed roles and now he was laying there on the table, oh yeah, now let's see who flinches! So I was laying there with my eyes closed, as vulnerable as I've ever allowed myself to be. No pants on, clean shaven, facing the door, waiting for a man with needles and knives, a man that I know is angry with me, to come into the room and do God only knows what. I recently saw a story about a surgeon that carved his initials into a woman's belly as he delivered her baby, and come to think of it this guy kinda favored him. The more time I have to think about this, the more I believe that I should just jump up, get my pants on and skedaddle the heck outa dodge. Even if I do use this doctor for my procedure I want him to have days, weeks or even months to put this episode behind him. What am I saying, I can't let this maniac touch me again, I'll just get another doctor all together, one that I don't have a history with, maybe I'll ask to be sedated next time, out cold, so I won't have to suffer so profoundly. That's when I heard the door open, I kept my eyes closed and tried to get back to my fantasy , in case he held a chain-saw or machete or something, I just didn't want to know anymore. Maybe he would tell me he was injured so badly he couldn't continue. I couldn't seem to find the way back to my happy place. Well, it was pretty anticlimactic from there on out, he finished up in about 5 or 10 minutes, tugging and pulling like a madman, and then he left. The nurse gave me two specimen cups and said they need a sample in 6 weeks and a sample in 12 weeks to be sure if the procedure was successful. But regardless, I won't be back for this procedure again, not unless I'm totally sedated. It was very painful, I wish I could erase the entire memory. Jan 22, 2002 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerard Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 *****wuss***** Had the same procedure. I'd rather go through it again than get another crown; and the crown ain't so bad, just really really boring. My biggest fear was that the nurse would be cute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Your's probably wasn't in a garage though was it. You and your horse tranquilizers, you probably thought the skeleton he had in his office was cute It ain't fun having things down there cut on...and then by an angry man too...fear that ya wuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerard Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Well of course he was angry: You pricked his finger! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThreeDJ16 Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 WTF!! Man WTF, ball sniping story in the shrimp and collards section??? I don't know about anybody else, I damn sure don't want to hear about this while thinking of food. Especially being I was gonna have that done this year - ! Ya ass, now I gotta think about that shit - thanks! -=Jasen=- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I guess you can move these posts to the joke section or something. Now quit busting my balls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThreeDJ16 Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I guess you can move these posts to the joke section or something. Now quit busting my balls I was - and someone already has - hehe. -=Jasen=- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerard Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Re: WTF!! Man WTF' date=' ball sniping story in the shrimp and collards section??? [/quote'] You're right DJ, vasectomy stories don't belong in the cooking section... especially since there's a vast difference The few folks that got that joke can send me their congratulations via PM. Don't be shy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThreeDJ16 Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Re: WTF!! Man WTF' date=' ball sniping story in the shrimp and collards section??? [/quote'] You're right DJ, vasectomy stories don't belong in the cooking section... especially since there's a vast difference The few folks that got that joke can send me their congratulations via PM. Don't be shy. Hell, I would even move or delete a mountain oyster recipe - ew! Oh yeah, good one Gerard - . -=Jasen=- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firemonkey Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 It took a few seconds...but I finally realized the pun Gerard was making. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeherd Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I don't know about having it in the cooking section. Maybe there should be a section for Q's gone wrong. I know when I had mine done, the Doc brought out some sort of branding iron/charcoal starter and proceeded to start lighting fires, in areas where fires weren't intended to be. There was a smoke wafting around the room but it sure did not smell like anything good from the grill. Sounds like they used the little needle on you Curly. I would swear the needle they came at me with was two feet long, as big around as a piece of rebar and felt like it had a barbed shank on it. They make them irreversible because no man in his right mind would go through tht twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThreeDJ16 Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 DAMNIT!!! Damn, you guys are freakn killing me! I have put this off forever already and finally decided to do it this year and we just had to start this thread up - ARGH! Thanks guys! -=Jasen=- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 I would swear the needle they came at me with was two feet long, as big around as a piece of rebar and felt like it had a barbed shank on it. That had to be the same one. He pulled it out of a guitar case and tried to hone it up a little with a rasp as I laid there praying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Majestik Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Re: Curly's Mountain Oysters - hehe - moved thread!! You guys consider getting cable tv? Dude' date=' you ain't been fixed yet? You need to think about it...for real [/quote'] Ha ha. I feel it's my duty to balance the gene pool against the damage done by Curly and Porkchop. Dang, I thought we were through, but maybe it's time to work on number 4. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 We have some good friends that we met when we were first married and lived in Miami. They had a couple of miscarraiges when we were living there and were desperately trying to have kids. They still live down there and they come by and visit us every year on their way to a homeschooling conference they attend. They have 9 kids now...the last time they were dealt twins. No telling what'll be next...but she's still thin as a pencil and not opposed to more. They are really great kids too I can't wait for them to come every year I was kidding about you getting fixed. My wifes mother died giving birth to her and my wife almost died of the same thing giving birth to our daughter...who she had to have by c-section 11 weeks early because of the toxemia. She was 1 lb 14 ounces. And then we went through months of wondering if little Katie was gonna make it. Talk about bad memories. But she's 8 years old now, only 32 lbs...still a peanut...but full of energy and character. I would love to have had more, but didn't want to chance it. We've considered adoption and still talk about it once in awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samantha Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Gerard....got it....good one...very professional! move thread......mountain oyster, meat balls, side dish, or appetizers! Curly....katie sounds like a very special little girl with a lot of determination. Adoption can be a win-win for all involved. Humorous account of your procedure.....Too bad they don't use the stirrups! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Majestik Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 And then we went through months of wondering if little Katie was gonna make it. ... But she's 8 years old now' date=' only 32 lbs...still a peanut...but full of energy and character. I would love to have had more, but didn't want to chance it. We've considered adoption and still talk about it once in awhile.[/quote'] Aw man, now I feel bad. It took us 6 years of doctors and tests before we had our oldest, Samantha. After that, just kept coming, no problemo. Nothing better in life, that's for sure. You hear that, Drunk_J? You still have time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curly Posted August 9, 2006 Report Share Posted August 9, 2006 Hopefully he's to scared to get the procedure now Yeah, we tried for 10 years...to the point theat we were on a schedule that kinda takes the fun outta things...and puts you under a lot of performance pressure . Then we started on the adoption thing and got chosen to be the family by an expectant mom...then the wife got pregnant. The mom changed her mind later...which would have been pretty rough too. Yep, emotional times indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
