NASA: "Youâve got to help us Tony. We need a man to go to Mars. We asked Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and The Rock. They all said the mission is too dangerous. Please help us out!"
Tony: "First of all, donât ask a candy ass to do a manâs job. Iâll handle it."
The next day Tony shows up and they load his equipment onto the rocket.
NASA: "Everything looks good except this case you have that says Acapulco Gold on it. You canât bring that with you."
Tony grabs a pre-rolled out of the case, strikes a kitchen match on his abs, and then blows smoke in the directorâs face. Looks him in the eye with a Clint Eastwood squint and says, âletâs rock.â
A few months later the rocket lands on Mars. As Tony steps out, he sees a Martian girl stirring a huge pot. Tony uses his famous pick-up line on herâŚ.
Tony: "Hey good lookinâ. Whatcha got cooking?"
Martian Girl: "Just watch."
After she stirred for about 45 minutes, the most beautiful baby Tony ever saw crawled out of the pot. Tony is amazed and tells her so.
Martian Girl: "How do they make babies where youâre from?"
Tony felt it was his duty to demonstrate.
Tony: "So that, little lady, is how itâs done on Earth."
Martian Girl: "So, whereâs the baby?"
Tony: "It takes a few months."
Martian Girl: "Then why did you stop stirring?"