paul....change your phone number...she sounds like a lunatic. Actually, when I hear always out of money and personality change, I think substance abuse.
Anyone narcisstic enough to invite herself to dinner, show up two hours late without phone call and demand her food is not a friend. Don't let yourself be abused that way, you deserve common courtesy. She consistently treats you that way which is indicative she is exceptionally self-centered and abusing your friendship.
You are far too kind for her.